Q: Seriously, you guys are amazingly witty.

A: That's not a question, you know. But thank you. We agree.

Q: Where do you come up with your witty ideas?

A: We attended a lot of school, and we read a lot of books. Also, we are pretty depressed and have mood disorders.

Q: Could I commission you to make goat's milk soap?

A: No. We make vegan soap. But if you have a request for a fragrance or color, you could email us. But we're kind of tetchy about our ideas, so don't count on us making your soap. At least not before we forget it was your idea. Ok?

Q: I want to sell your soap at my store/tattoo parlor/sex dungeon.

A: That's totally not a question, either. But thanks. We're flattered. Especially if you really have a tattoo parlor or sex dungeon. Please email us